For this post I have decided to write about what is probably one of the most significant components which accompanies Cancer, Chemotherapy. Both before and after being diagnosed, I had absolutely no idea about Chemotherapy. Of course I knew the basics, what I had learned in Leaving Cert Biology, which may I add my memory didn't serve me too well on this topic, but I had no idea how it was administered and the effects which can wreak havoc on your body (other than hair loss). I was essentially clueless and genuinely thought I'd by lying in some sort of contraption (in my mind it resembled an MRI machine) which I'm very much embarrassed to admit now lol.
As I mentioned in my first post I received a type of Chemotherapy named ABVD (the letters standing for the drugs I was given which I'm not going to even attempt to spell) and I received this once every two weeks. Clearly going in totally oblivious to my first treatment, I had no idea what to expect despite my consultant previously attempting to inform me. I soon discovered I would receive two of the drugs through a bag which was pumped into my body through a cannula, basically a thin tube inserted into my vein. Each bag would take a different length of time until it was empty, one was an hour where the other was but half that time! The other two drugs would be administered by a nurse syringing the fluid into the cannula. So, firstly, what I very much was unaware of was the time consuming process Chemotherapy is. My treatment on average was roughly 3-4 hours each time. After each drug was given my line was flushed to clear my veins and make sure it was spread around my body! This process was even further prolonged by the time spent in the waiting room and making sure you were cleared to get your treatment. If there were any suspicions I had some kind of infection a doctor would have to clear me to receive it and thankfully I was extremely blessed to have gotten it on my intended day each time and only had one expected over night stay in hospital.For me the side effects of Chemotherapy were something I didn't comprehend until they kicked in. My mam in an attempt to prepare me told me that "This is gonna be tough on your body Claire, you're gonna be tired and sick". The funny thing about this is I almost didn't expect it to be half as bad as she was making out. The Cancer hadn't made me sick, maybe a little tired, but I didn't think the treatm
ent would be worse than the disease itself. The first time received my treatment I had actually informed my nurse that I was planning on going to a surprise meal we had planned for my best friend Laur. I remember the car journey on the way home when the feeling in my belly hit for the first time and I knew there was no way I could sit around a table where there was food. My nurse had told me that the side effects may not kick in for a few days or straight away, each patient was different. For me they most definitely began very shortly after Chemotherapy. As I progressed further into my treatment I developed Anticipatory Nausea, which essentially meant that I began to feel sick and get sick before I had even received my treatment and for me this was definitely the worst part. Tiredness I could try and sleep off, an upset stomach I could take Anti-sickness, the aches and pains in my body hot water bottles and showers helped to ease and ice pops definitely aided in soothing my sore gums, but nothing they had given could solve the nausea I felt the instant I woke on the morning of my Chemotherapy. At first I was down for a week and as time progressed I definitely began to recover much quicker before my next treatment! The purpose of this post was in no way an attempt to gather sympathy for myself because there are people who have received the gruelling treatment for far longer and far more intensely than I have, people who are still sitting in a chemotherapy chair right now and people who have not received the amazing news I was lucky enough to be given. I have learned that for me the secret to staying resilient through this treatment and subsequently the disease itself, is having the knowledge that the pain I was feeling and the hard times I had to go through were completely temporary and would always pass. Yes I had felt sick and tired and sore, but the side effects had always faded. When I felt down and or anxious about the unknown something would always spring me back into reality. I began to train my brain to believe that this whole ordeal would pass and I would be fine no matter what news was around the corner, Surely enough, it passed. The past 8 months have undeniably been the most challenging to date, but I had some of my happiest and most fulfilling moments in that period. Those months were not all filled with tears and sadness. I have now learned the beauty of understanding that everything is temporary. The hardships I endured then were so worth it for the life and mind-set I get to experience now. This is the advice I would offer to anyone who would ever find themselves in the position that I did or any person who has or will face bumps in the road. It is totally and completely temporary and will guide you to the place you need to be, whether that be clear or not to you right now, there is significance in everything. Any situation is only ever as bad as you choose to see it.
Claire xo
